Coyote Arm
by
Evil Matt
I really hate my roommate
’cuz all he does is masturbate.
With cunning stealth, he feigns ill health
so he can stay at home and pound himself.
It’s such a crime that all the time
the air in there smell of slime.
He lacks tact, wit, and charm,
because he’s got Coyote Arm.
All day long he’ll play with phallus
(and I guess it’s got one hell of a callous)
but now I find that he feels free
to whip it out in front of me.
His forearm becomes a blurry motion
as he seeks to spew his lotion.
As you can guess, it’s quite a mess
and puts me under great duress.
Well, enough’s enough; time to get tough.
I’ll take no more of this sickening stuff.
If he continues these obscene pleasures,
I shall take some drastic measures.
If he won’t mend his evil ways
he shall live on numbered days,
for I will do what he most fears:
lop it off with pruning sheers.
© 1987 evil matt