I really hate my roommate
ícuz all he does is masturbate.
With cunning stealth, he feigns ill health
so he can stay at home and pound himself.
Itís such a crime that all the time
the air in there smell of slime.
He lacks tact, wit, and charm,
because heís got Coyote Arm.
All day long heíll play with phallus
(and I guess itís got one hell of a callous)
but now I find that he feels free
to whip it out in front of me.
His forearm becomes a blurry motion
as he seeks to spew his lotion.
As you can guess, itís quite a mess
and puts me under great duress.
Well, enoughís enough; time to get tough.
Iíll take no more of this sickening stuff.
If he continues these obscene pleasures,
I shall take some drastic measures.
If he wonít mend his evil ways
he shall live on numbered days,
for I will do what he most fears:
lop it off with pruning sheers.
© 1987 evil matt