You are a cherry tomato on top of a salad, and you see the fork coming
straight for you.
What do you do?
What DO you do???
A well seeing how I was already a vegetable, I wouldnt mind accepting my
in the food chain ( those fucking mushrooms think they're so special)
seeing that fork come after me....hummmmmmm.(i would sacrifice my self for
another cherry tomato comrade.) fork would get me, but i sure would look
going out, i would "EXPLODE", leaving the biggest damn mess you had
seen,my red gut's, white seed's dripping over the entire salad. very seedy
I would scream. Do you know how much a talking tomato would be worth?
I would simply ROLL away!!
Squirt your juice - aim for the eye and blind the folk holder
I guess I would have to roll off the plate and head for the door
I would tell him that my big brother the salad tomato will be along shortly
and is worth the wait as he is much bigger and juicier than I. I f that
work I would puke my guts out all over the fork. Hey if i gotta go, all he's
getting is the shell.
The moment I'm in that sucker's mouth, I'd roll down his windpipe and try to
suffocate him. I either kill the bastard, or get shot across the room by a
heimlich so I could roll to safety.
Spit out my guts like a sea cucumber & hope the fork-holder was so grossed
out, that s/he wouldn't ever eat salad again.
I'd scream EAT ME MOTHERFUCKER!
Not to worry as it is commonly understood that matter is neither
gained nor lost. It merely changes form. My life as a cherry tomato
was cut off the second I was picked from the vine and I would only be
hanging around to rot shortly if I were to prolong being eaten.
Besides, isn't being eaten my purpose for existence anyway. Self
mutiliation could save me from being considered edible, if done properly,
but again what is the point of sticking around?
I would probably jump onto the fork with a smile
and off myself.
I hate tomatoes.
(just kidding, skip)
Unfortunately, I'd probaby stare at the fork in slow-motion horror,
eyes and cringe at the last minute, scream, splat, and die.
take it like a man!
Cry "FREEDOM!" in the hopes of inspiring my
vegetable brethren to
liberate themselves before the salad oppressors drowned them in the
dressing. (That hot bacon is the worst!!)