In our continuing effort to be cutting edge with catch phrases and other slang, I feel the need to turn everyone’s attention to a term that has been making the rounds for several years now with no signs of going away.  Actually, most slang falls into that category, but there’s one that’s bugging me more than a starving tick on a skinny puppy.
        I’m referring, of course, to “Da Bomb.”
        I remember the first time I heard the term, back around 1996 up in Chicago; this demented (yet cool) half-Hispanic/half-Irish kid nicknamed ‘Fef’ used it to describe some girl he was poking but had since grown sick of.  “Yeah, at first I thought she was Da Bomb, but then she wanted to be with me.”  Hehehe, grounds for a break-up if ever I heard one.  Anyway, I thought it was kind of a cool slang, so I picked it up and added it to my repertoire.  But a year later I was visiting Florida, and Sisbooomba overheard it and fell in love with it.  Started using it everywhere.
        Now when your mom picks up your favorite catch phrase, you know it’s old and time to move on.
        Anyway, that was the late ’90s, and not only is Da Bomb still going strong, it has been “politically corrected” into “The Bomb” by Ebonically challenged folks who never caught on to the “Da” part but who still want to sound pretentiously hip hop.  But in either variant, it’s passé.  It’s cliché.  It’s Pre-Cambrian.  So it’s outta here!
        The replacement I’m suggesting is...

        The Whip.

        Here are two reasons (of many) why The Whip is better than Da Bomb.

        1)  When a Bomb goes off, it kills indiscriminately and leaves a big mess...
             but when a Whip hits, its a precision impact that leaves a lasting mark.

        2)  A Bomb’s “boom” sounds like any other explosion...
             but a Whip’s “crack” is unique, distinct, and instantly identifiable to anyone.

        3)  Any idiot can have a bomb...
             but only the guy in charge has the whip.



        So ladies and gentlemen, I present... The Whip.
        Now just one last word about it’s useage.  Da Bomb has been run into the ground; it’s more worn out than Madonna’s knees after a visit to a locker room.  Everything and everyone at this point is being called “Da Bomb,” which is part of the problem here.  There are so many Bombs about that it’s surprising we don’t all have radiation poisoning.
        So, please, use The Whip sparingly.  It is a title that few things deserve, so lofty is it’s status.


        Oh, and if I catch any of you saying “Da Whip,” I’ll beat your ass with one.

 

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