Date: Thu, 6 Sep 2001 20:27:18 EDT
Subject: Scumby's Pizza Sucks Big Greasy Donkey Balls

Dear Cheese Guy:
I agree that the shortage of cheese is disappointing. Being an employee for 3
weeks now I have no major loyalties to the company. I just work there for the
pay check. I personally go by the company's standard weights and amounts for
toppings. They seem pretty fair to me and I don't remember the last time I
inspected Pizza Hut pizza to see if there is a difference. So maybe I don't
have a real opinion except for maybe that if you took your head out of your
ass you would notice that not only Gumby's, but every other food place in
America screws people. Save yourself the trouble and make your own "Pie".
Then maybe you will get a life. It is sad that corporate America screws
everybody, but you save time and get better quality by getting off your lazy
ass and making it yourself.
A Pizza Guy


...and my reply...


Dear Pizza Peon,

Thank you for illustrating the exceptionally low quality of employee staffing standards at Gumby’s.  Your “just following company policy” comment sounds suspiciously to me like Eichman’s excuse about Auschwitz.  Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to understand what that means.

Still, if you think their pitiful offering of cheese is acceptable, then I can only suggest you go to some non-franchised/non-chain pizzerias and see what you are missing.  Yes, I am keenly aware that “every other food place in America screws people” (if you’d bothered to surf my site, you’d have seen that.)   I will take your comment as a tacit admission of guilt on your company’s part, that your employer is among those screwing over America.  Your logic of ‘since everyone else is screwing you over, what does it matter that we are too?’ is vintage Gumby’s.  Stick with the company, my friend; with thinking like that, you're definitely management material.   

But back to the point: Gumby’s is especially low on the corporate totem pole in that I consistently have had bad experiences with them.  Obviously I’m not the only one with a gripe against Gumby’s, though, or I wouldn't get as many ‘high-five/right on!’ emails from other unsatisfied customers as I do.  It’s just a poorly run chain, though since you’re working there (and thus are part of the problem) I wouldn’t expect you to realize that until you have some hindsight and maturity under your belt. 

Anyway, I’ll attempt to end this on a positive note (c#, symbolizing sharp cheddar) and thank you for the obvious suggestion I make my own pies.  I’ve been doing that for a while, and agree that you get a better pie that way.

Then again, I could throw a tomato at some cardboard and sprinkle some sawdust on it to get a better pizza than Gumby’s could ever produce... 


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