If you were looking for things like links to all your favorite teams plus a bunch of other cheesy stats ’n’ stuff, then boy, are you in the wrong place!

(but you already knew that, didn’t you...)

We of the Branch Floridians are extremely anti-sport, and it’s not hard to see why. As has been well-documented, Sports are one of the most vicious aspects of the Brain Police conspiracy against us.

For those of you who missed that documentation, check out Sports—a modest proposal or Sports Vice Illustrated. 

(If you still need empirical proof, spend half an hour around saint’s old roommate, Pop ’N Fresh...)