World Domination Update
“Phallus in Wonderland”
vol. V, iss. i

“The voice of one crying in the wilderness”

—Matthew 3:3

Secret Word of the Day:    
Site of the Week:
Barbecue Sauce of the Week:  Cactus Jack’s General Purpose Honey Hot
Now Playing:  The Ramones, “All the Stuff (and more) - volume one”

In this issue:

·   shade goes m.i.a.
·   FlaxFest
·   Constitutional Conundrum
·   Ask Evil Matt
·   Hedgehog Doctrine

            Hi, Kids!

            Well folks, today’s Waco Day, the 8th anniversary of the failed raid in Waco, so all Branch Floridians should do something festive like shoot a jelly doughnut or perform a no-knock entry on a law officer’s house with flash-bang éclairs.  Most creative participation gets some style points and a ton of fortified flax out of my own personal stash.

Anyway, we’re now about two months into Bush’s coup d’état, and as the Brain Police work the kinks out of their White House marionette mechanism, things are rapidly devolving towards a surrealistic dementia of Salvador Dali proportions.  The best example of this is Bush’s proposal to give federal funding to religious institutions engaged in “good works.”  This is such a brazen violation of the separation of Church and State on so many levels that I won’t waste space going over the obvious.  Just think for yourself on it and y’all can grok the con going on, and that’s just the thin edge of the wedge, too.  Somehow, and sadly, I know it’s safe to say that this sets the tone for the rest of his administrative career.

Bush seems intent to follow in his father’s footsteps in more ways that one: he has “one termer” written all over him, and the real question is how much damage can he do (due to his Brain Police overlords) in four years?  The potential to clock 9.5 on the Chaos Scale is a very real one, so I’ve already got a 4x4 packed and gassed up, ready to head to Mexico at the first sign of Serious Shit.

Indeed, those signs are heading towards us on the Highway of Destiny at an alarmingly fast rate, and they seem to be as much on a local level as in our over-all country’s continuity.  Back here at BadAss, things are getting pretty weird, and most of you scattered about the land have reported similar strangeness.  Still, here on the home front, one item stands out far beyond par for suspicious shenanigans, as it directly affects all Branch Floridians:


where the hell is shade?!?

shade, normally our in-compound scribe and humble narrator, seems to have disappeared, gone AWOL in these last few days with the Domination deadline due—leaving me {saint} to do his shit-work of compiling this piece of crap...

...but I bitch & babble...

Needless to say, this disappearance of his is extremely uncharacteristic for our man in black, and has a bunch of us around the Compound worried that something sinister might be up.

Ol’ boy’s been acting weird of late anyway, spending large quantities of time at the lair of the Horse and Hound.  Indeed, Redman reports recently running into him at The Vine, a known Ranch Peninsular hangout, and in the company of arch nemesis DK no less.  DK and shade had frequent Horse & Hound sightings as well.  shade would speak cryptically of his HoHo exploits, making vague references to practicing his sharpshooting at Area 51 for a few quarters.  I have no idea what that means, but with shade that’s usually the case anyway.

But then last weekend he just vanished.

Obviously, the Brain Police are the prime candidate to explain away shade’s sudden fade from the scene.  It is quite probable that they even used legal dealings to disappear him from public perview; he’s had an uncomfortably large number of run-ins with The Law lately.  His last known area of research was into Constitutional Law, perhaps attracting undue attention during his inquiries.  Earlier this month he was even called for jury duty, and while he did not make it past voir dire, this was clearly just an excuse to feel him out legally.


last known photo of shade, presumably hard at work on the Update.  [picture courtesy Bruddah Max]

Of course, the most heinous case for judicial shenanigans against shade was his recent court case.


shade’s legal ordeal


Recently, shade was at a local BadAss tavern with a member of the Branch Floridians whose name will be omitted under the “deny everything” clause.  We’ll refer to her as “Hastur” for Lovecraftian reasons those on the know will appreciate.

Per ol’ girl’s penchant for having a few brews more than she can handle (she’s an alcoholic, fer chris’sake, and her favorite beer is Killians) shade literally took her keys away from her rather than chance her behind the wheel.  I think all would agree this was the proper thing to do, and so shade drove her home.

Alas, Hastur had not renewed her car’s registration in over a year, and a cop happened to catch this; a flash of the bad blue lights and shade had to pull over.  The officer smelled alcohol from the half-passed out Hastur, and made shade take an on-the-spot sobriety test.  This decathlon of coordinatory challenges was even more rigorous than the dreaded Dr. McCarty Drunkenness Check.  Fortunately, unlike his passenger, shade can hold his alcohol, so he managed to pass, though the officer said “barely.”  Bully tactics, no doubt, intent on intimidation.  

Still, there was the matter of the expired registration.

Arizona Statute 28-2532 says (paraphrased in part) “...a person who is the owner or operator of a motor vehicle that is not registered is subject to a civil penalty...” ranging greatly from  $127 to $617.  Even though Hastur was half asleep next to him in the passenger seat, shade was behind the wheel so he got the ticket.

Needless to say, shade went to court to fight it.

This law bothers me.  Granted, I see the need and agree that cars should be registered and penalties should be applied to those who violate it, but my qualm is that the driver is the one held accountable.  As demonstrated, the operator is not always the owner.  Now it’s one thing if you borrow someone’s car and speed; as the driver you control that aspect and are guilty of breaking the law.  But registration is another matter.

shade had no control over whether Hastur kept her paperwork up to date, yet he was the one penalized with the ticket for her negligence.  People should take responsibility for their actions, but whether Hastur had her registration renewed was not shade’s action.  He was merely doing the right thing (driving a drunk friend home) but otherwise in the wrong place at the wrong time.  It’s bad enough that being in the wrong place at the wrong time is against the law, but this goes beyond that line in that this was clearly se culpa not shade culpa.

I am really disturbed that there is a law (indeed, many laws!) in existence that hold a person accountable for something that is clearly beyond their control.  You cannot fault someone for something they did not do, yet that is precisely what 28-2532 and other laws of its ilk do.   


In other news...


The latest from Waco


The multi-million dollar Danforth diversionary inquiry into Waco shenanigans revealed nothing new except specifics to some general government incompetence, but at last the official government scapegoat was named.  Not surprisingly, it wasn’t Janet Reno.  Instead, the fall guy is former prosecutor Bill Johnston, who says he will plead guilty to obstructing an investigation into the 1993 siege of the Davidian compound.  Johnson was a prosecutor of the surviving Davidians in ’94, and has admitted withholding information (from the public, the ’94 Senate Inquacksition, and the Davidian defense consul during the trial) concerning the FBI’s use of pyrotechnic gas during the final assault.  In exchange for his feeble “it’s a fair cop” plea he is expected to draw three years probation.  

Johnson said, “They are agreeing to dismiss the entire indictment against me and I am agreeing that I should have informed them that I didn’t turn over my notes.” 

In exchange for pleading guilty to concealing a felony for failing to turn over notes (ie: violating disclosure) prosecutors will drop three charges of obstructing justice.

During the Danforth inquiry, Johnson finally came clean about the pyrotechnic rounds, becoming a self-described “whistle-blower.”  Basically, he was the first one to ’fess up publicly about the long-denied military ordnance.    Read: he (and many, many others) knew about it long before hand, but when finally confronted with proof, he was the first to step up and say “uhhhhh, well maybe yeah.”

Prosecutor Edward Dowd dismisses Johnston’s lame explanation rather succinctly: “Whistle-blowers don’t withhold evidence.  They don’t lie to grand juries, they don’t lie to the Office of Special Counsel.”

Johnson was an assistant U.S. attorney in Texas until he resigned last year for reasons related to the revelations.  He was also one of the geniuses who drafted the original search warrant on the Mt. Carmel complex that launched the failed raid eight years ago today.  A major focus within that warrant was alleged child abuse allegations, charges which have largely been disproven and which are clearly outside of the ATF’s domain anyway.

Johnson’s friends and supporters plan to petition President Bush for a full pardon. 


                        Reader feedback

I take slight exception to your "quizling" comment.  Not that I am suggestion that everybody run to AskJeeves, but there is a difference between those who just take somebody else's word for something and those who actively seek the answer.  Would you rather people just reply "I dunno" to every question that stumps them?  I thought you would encourage people to hunt down the answers that they don't know  - then the quiz becomes not just a forum for humor and sarcasm, but a tool that actually forces people to LEARN SOMETHING!  Does THINK FOR YOURSELF really mean JUST MAKE SOME SHIT UP ?  If a tough question comes my way, I could reply with something witty and clever every time, but I LIKE finding the real answers and learning something that I didn't know before.   When you wrote your Jonestown article you didn't know everything about the subject at he beginning.  Did you just make shit up?  NO, you RESEARCHED IT!  And as I recall, you used the internet for a lot of that research.  Keep in mind that when we actively seek knowledge (hopefully from multiple sources) that obtaining that knowledge will ultimately help us when we think for ourselves.




                        saint’s peshar

I hear ya, Rev, & agree whole-heartedly!  You are not alone, by the way: Bruddah Max verbally expressed a similar sentiment to me.  The “quizling” comment can actually be attributed to Evil Matt, who appropriately handles answer scoring for the quizzes.  If you know E.M. then you know he’s a “Mr. Know-It-All” of Bullwinkle J. Moose proportions, so his snide, smart-ass snipe can be understood, if not excused.

Truth be said, I think shade was just hard up for a ‘secret word’ last issue ’round, and E.M.’s sarcastic comment tickled his funny bone.  I’ve never fully understood shade’s logic on the Secret Word section/selection anyway, and since he’s not here to defend himself, I’ll just drop it, except to explain it to those out there scratching their heads going “huh???”

Vidkun Quisling (1887–1945) was the pro-German Prime Minister of Norway during the Second World War, and he actively (indeed, enthusiastically!) collaborated with the Nazi occupiers of his nation.  Much like “Judas,” Quisling’s name and legacy have passed into our language to synonymize with “traitor.”  E.M. was making a pithy potshot at the “traitors” who took the Branch Floridian Quizzes and simply surfed for the answers, copying them verbatim without any “think for yourself” embellishments.   


Apologies to GWAR


The title for this issue of the Update, “Phallus in Wonderland,” came to shade one day in December during a brain flash that left him cackling (yes, cackling!) for a full five minutes.  After sharing the mirth, it was pointed out to him that the name had already been claimed as the title to a GWAR album/movie.  

It should probably go without saying that shade is no GWAR fan and hasn’t heard anything over a ten-second sound byte of theirs.  The name “Phallus in Wonderland” is kind of obvious, especially given shade’s known favoritism for Lewis Carroll.

Anyway, we’ll let it slide...  this time


Back to the Japanese Jesus 


Frequent readers are already aware of the Branch Floridian exposé on the Legend of Jesus in Japan.

Seems this was a bit of an information coup; several months after we broke the story, the mainstream media is finally picking it up, with some variations against our information (the town is listed as Shingo, not Herai, Jesus’s brother is Isukiri, not Ouriki, etc.)  

Anyway, check it out:

But remember, folks: you heard it here first.


Rethinking Beavers


As most of you know, there is great concern that beavers are taking over the world.

But wait!  Maybe these furry li’l bastards aren’t as smart as we thought: 


a beaver bites off more than he can chew

(liberally .gif-lifted from


The truth about Microsoft?!?


Those of you who are computer-savvy already know what the “WhoIs” function is, but for those of you outside the Chain, it’s a UNIX command that lets you find out information about an Internet domain and/or IP address.

On January 24th, doing a WhoIs for returned this information (really!  this is an actual cut & paste, courtesy Stiner) :


Whois Server Version 1.3

Domain names in the .com, .net, and .org domains can now be registered
with many different competing registrars. Go to
for detailed information.



But of course you already knew that, didn’t you...


  The Mix

Ok, y’all know me: smoke like a tire fire, and swill coffee pretty much nonstop.  This is especially true when I’m working.  My desk is usually covered with about an 1/8" of cigarette ash, and I have 3 or 4 soda cans lying around which usually get turned into ash trays because I can never remember where I moved my “real” ’tray to.

Anyway, Saturday night, I’m up late working on my web.  I’m using an empty root beer can for an ash tray, resting the cig on top while I type.  Right next to the can is the coffee cup from the morning.  All that’s left is maybe 1/8" of semi-solid coffee with a syrup consistency; much of it is sugar that crystallized when it cooled down.

I got particularly involved in something and ignored the cig; I had balanced it so most of the filter was hanging off the side for easy grabbing.  Anyway, it burned down enough that the filter weight caused it to fall over the side of the can.  Right into the morning coffee cup.

It landed filter down, right in the “syrup.”  Stuck straight up like a nubby thin finger.  It was still burning; had a few puffs left to it even.  I pulled it out and prepared to drop it into the root beer can to kill it, but noticed the ring of syrup around the filter.

What the hell; I took a puff off of it, and IT WAS THE BEST TASTING CIGARETTE I EVER HAD.  Sweet coffee flavor to it, plus my lips were very lickable from the syrup.

So I dumped that cig, got a fresh one, and stuck it filter down into the coffee cup a few seconds before lighting it.  Same thing; really tasty.

I might be on to something...  Just need to work barbecue sauce into the equation.


speaking of interesting cigarettes,,,


ecstasy follow-up


Many of you may remember shade & my delving into nicotine-free smoking substitutes a year or so ago.  The most unusual brand encountered were “ecstasy” cigarettes, which had as ingredients (and I quote from the box) “Damiana, Wild Lettuce, Catnip, Passion Flower, Mint, Love and Light.”  Hmmmmm...

I honestly don’t remember what they tasted like, but even after smoking off the contents I kept the box around due to it’s unusual nature.  I even went so far as to give a call to the manufacturers,  which I transcribed in the then-current World Domination Update.

I never did get satisfactory answers from them about their product, so I decided it was time for a follow-up.

 The number is still in service, with option 4 of the front end phone maze being to speak to a live representative.  I chose that, and was subjected to a very surreal hold message.  Weird wanna-be Tangerine Dream synth music, with an eerie, echoey femvoice warning that sale of cigarettes to minors was verboten, smoking by pregnant women was unhealthy, etc.

It kicked me over to voice mail, which I passed on leaving.


At long last, we believe we have a resolution to the Sanskrit Conundrum.


Just the flax, ma’am


Flax as Branch Floridian currency has caught on like wildfire (well duh!) with loyal members stashing and stockpiling bushels in their own bunkers for future use. 

[missing out on all the flax fun?!?  click here for a free bale!]

With that pattern it was only inevitable for...




Food will consist of flax pancakes (aka flaxjacks), flax on the cob, flaxcabobs, sweet & sour flax, and, needless to say, barbequed flax.  For desert we’ll serve hot flax sundaes.

But of course FlaxFest isn’t about food, because food is bad; the focus will be on the music.  Tune entertainment will be provided by the Cyber-Compound House Band The Cactus Patch  Kids (The Flaxtus Patch Kids?) featuring flaxified versions of such standards as Flax Magic Woman, Flax in the Saddle, Flax Moon Rising, I can’t get no Satisflaxion, Flax you like a Hurricane, Saturday Night’s all right for Flaxing, Sweet Dreams (are made of Flax), Flaxloose, Flax Bottom Girls, BattleFlax, Sheer Heart Aflax, Bohemian Flaxidy, and Inflaxuation.

saint’s musical side project with Dr. McCarty (“Dead Pelicans” re-christened “Dead Peliflax”) can be expected to open up the event with stirring renditions of All along the Flaxtower, Flaxdance (what a feeling), Total eclipse of the Flax, Rock the Flaxbah, Flax & Diane, Jumpin’ Jack Flax, Too Much Flax on My Hands, Flax Door Woman, Back in Flax, The Boys are Flax in Town, and Life in the Flax Lane.

Several other bands have also been penciled in:

Flax Sabbath : Iron Flax, Flaxenoid, Children of the Flax, Behind the Wall of Flax, Flaxenaut, Flaxen and Hell, Never Say Flax, and Sabbath Flaxy Sabbath

Pink Flax : Dark Side of the Flax, Flax & Them, Flax on the Wing, Interstellar OverFlax, Saucerflax of Secrets, Comfortably Flax, Several species of small flaxy animals gathered together in a cave & grooving with a Pict

Metalliflax : Flaxter of Puppets, Fade to Flax, Enter Flaxman, The Flax that should not be, Four Flaxmen, Fight Fire with Flax, For whom the Flax tolls, Trapped under Flax, Creeping Flax, Call of Kthflax, Damage Inflaxerated, ...and flaxtice for all, Welcome Home (Flaxitarium)

Blue Öyster Flax : Don’t Flax the Reaper, Flaxin’ for You, R U Ready 2 Flax, Flaxing Lips, Golden Age of Flax, Iflaxinos, Flaxey Cretins, Del Rio’s Flax, Dominance & Flaxmission, The Red & The Flax, Tattooed Flaxpire, Flaxing Final,  Flaxzilla

Flax Beatles (minus the late John Flaxxon) :  Flaxman, Revolution Number Flax, Flax in the USSR, Lucy in the Sky with Flax,  A Day in the Life (of a flax plant), Eleanor Flaxby, Flax Onion, Flaxwell’s Silver Hammer, Strawberry Flax Forever, I Wanna Hold Your Flax, I Want You (She’s so flaxy), Get Flax, Baby you can Flax my car

Ministry (of Flax) :  Just One Flax, Flaxmata, Psalm Sixty-Flax, Jesus built my Flaxrod

Duran DurFlax :  Hungry like the Flax, Union of the Flax, New Moon on Flaxday, The ReFlax

The Artist formerly known as “Flax” :  Little Flax Corvette, Nineteen-Ninety-Flax, Purple Flax, When Doves Flax, Under the Cherry Flax

penciled in (but currently unconfirmed): Vanilla Flax {Flax Flax Baby}, and Flaxie Goes to Hollywood {ReFlax (don’t do it).}  Unfortunately, AnFlax and Flaxom & Jetsom had to pull out.

of course, our biggest coup d’flax will be getting:

Flax Zappa & the Mothers of Flaxvention: Hungry Flax (Daddy), Ain’t got no Flax to give, Who are the Flax Police?, I’m not Flaxified, Help I’m a Flax, The Illinois Flaxima Bandit, Bwanna Flax, Flaxie the Mountain, The Flax Page #2, Baby Flax, Rudy wants to buy yez some Flax, Flaxin’ Fool, This Town is a sealed Flax Sandwich, I have Flax in you, Fountain of Flax, Prelude to the Afternoon of a Sexually Aroused Flax Mask, Big Flaxie, Let’s make the water turn Flax, Take your clothes off when you Flax, Theme from the 3rd movement of Sinister Flaxwear, The Son of Flaxie Creamcheese, Flaxentine Pogen, Lonesome Cowboy Flax, Lemme take you to the Flax, Lucile has messed my flax up, Advanced RoFlax, Honey don’t you want a flax like me, Why does it hurt when I flax?, Brown Flax Don’t Make it, Who needs the Flax Corps?, Alien OriFlax, Stinkflax, Cruisin’ for Flax, Flax with dirty little lips, Latex Solar Flax, Valley Flax, Broken hearts are for flaxholes, Weasels Ripped my Flax, Don’t eat the yellow flax


{shade would like to thank BruddahMax (aka BruddahFlax) for helping to book a large portion of these acts)


FlaxFest will be held April 31st at the BadAss compound.  

Tickets are 1 ton of flax.

Know a good Flax Band or tasty Flax Jam?  !


Flash in the Brainpan


I recently learned a rather disturbing statistic: Tourette’s Syndrome affects one person in every thousand.  A 1:1,000 affliction ratio is staggeringly high (I think) and got me thinking.  The term itself came about in 1885 when French neurologist George Gilles de la Tourette presumably made the diagnosis, but I can’t see T.S. being a recent phenomenon; my guess is that it goes way back and it just wasn’t until the 1885 that a name was given to an already existent condition.

        This got me thinking.  I’d always been a bit suspicious of the high number of people in the Bible who are possessed by demons.  This is conventionally explained away as an ignorant misdiagnosis of epilepsy, but I never really bought that, either.  But Tourette’s Syndrome fits the bill almost perfectly.  Put yourself in a First Century mind-set: if you saw someone with uncontrollable “tics” always making strange noises, what would you think?

I thought I was on to something, but have since learned that this is old news in the neurological community.

Having been shot down on my Biblical insight, I think I’ll keep with the legal theme started earlier in the issue turn my attention instead to some Constitutional law bashing.


saint’s sermon: the 21st Amendment


Most of us already knew that our laws have flaws—shade’s ordeal proves that—but nothing illustrates this on the federal level more than the 21st Amendment.

        To understand the 21st Amendment, it is necessary to also understand the 18th, because the 21st is nothing less than the voiding of the 18th.

        A quick refresher in Constitutional law: the 18th Amendment was the prohibition of liquor.  The 21st was the repeal of that same law.

The fact that a law would be put on the books and then voided out within 10 years is a great indication that our lawmakers don’t know what the hell they’re doing.  It also sets a strange precedent in our nation’s legal history.  The Constitution is not infallible, it is a living, growing document, and it is subject to internal change and even cancellation.

The 18th Amendment was passed on January 16, 1919, and took effect 1 year later, ushering in “The Roaring 20’s.”  The wide degree to which Prohibition was broken by people needing a drink shows its great unpopularity.  The United States public did not vote on this law, but rather it was maneuvered in by a group called the Anti-Saloon League, a temperance-touting minority that had a lot of clout and money.  The ASL managed to get a majority of Congressional candidates elected in 1915 with the understanding that these people would support a nation-wide Prohibitive legislation.  And sure enough, they did.

Although many people whimsically reflect on Prohibition as “The Noble Experiment” there is no question that in practice it was an unmitigated disaster.  Organized crime had existed before, but Prohibition played perfectly into its hands, giving it a virtual monopoly on alcoholic profits and helping broaden its power base in major cities.  Gangsters like Al Capone came to the fore because of Prohibition, and bootlegging was unquestionable the cash cow of the underworld.  Not only that, but Prohibition helped cripple the American economy by taking away millions of dollars of revenue from legitimate distilleries, and putting it in the hands of tax-avoiding criminals.

Indeed, it is my personal opinion that this was the reason for its repeal at the end of 1933.  The Great Depression was in full force, and aside from people needing a way to numb themselves from the economic horror surrounding them, the repeal of Prohibition was seen as a way to help kick-start the economy.

The 18th Amendment demonstrates just how easy it is for an unpopular law to be pushed in by a minority, forcing its will over the majority of opinion.

Likewise, the 21st Amendment shows how easy it is to toss out a law that people disagree with.  This shows that American laws are not set in stone, but are continuously evolving and even then are wrought with contradiction.


Feel free to .


Ask Evil Matt


     [as channeled by Sister Ob’dewlla ‘X’]

Q:  How many Ice Ages have their been?  How frequent are they?  And what is the current status of the next one, with global warming in the equation?

A:  Exactly how many Ice Ages planet Earth has had is a matter of debate among geologists and paleontologists, but there have been at least a dozen, not counting the mediocre Magic the Gathering expansion set.  Frequency varies greatly, from 10,000 to 100,000 year intervals.  The current status of the next one is unknown, and also a matter of debate and speculation.  It won’t be within your lifetime, though, unless you live in Chicago.  Otherwise, you’re well in the grips of it.

Q:  Which are older: cockroaches or dinosaurs?.

A:  Cockroaches, by far.

Q:  Where is M.C. Escher from?

A:  Maurits Cornelis Escher (1878–1972) was born in Leeuwarden, Holland and spent the majority of his life throughout Europe (but mostly in the Netherlands.)

Q:  What happened to all the wild chickens?

A:  Chickens fall into that category of animals that would be extinct were it not for human domestication (ca. 6000BC in the Fertile Crescent area.)  Let’s face it: chickens aren’t really equipped to survive in the wild: they’re dumber than doorknobs and damned tasty—a most dangerous combination in the food chain.  In contrast, a turkey (of which there are still limited numbers in the wild) is larger, smarter, and can actually phuq up a smaller predator to some extent.  As your question points out, you don’t see too many packs of wild marauding chickens in the wilderness, and this is because everything else ate them up a long time ago.  Domestication is the only thing that preserves them as a species.  Then again, they are bread specifically to be killed and eaten.   At least we let them propagate before putting them on a platter, so their continuation can be safely assured.  However, I guarantee that if their human overlords were taken out of the equation for whatever reason, they would die out entirely before you could say “finger lickin’ good.” 

            Got a question?  Ask .

And finally...

The Hedgehog Corner

by Harriet the Hedgehog

“Dogma” is defined as “a set of beliefs that are considered to be true to the extent that they are not to be questioned or challenged for accuracy, but accepted on blind faith.”  All religions have dogma, as do most of the sciences.  An example of Christian dogma would be “Jesus Christ rose on the third day”; Islamic Dogma is “Mohammed was the last, greatest prophet.”  A non-theological application: “2 + 2 = 4” could be considered mathematical dogma.

“Dogma” is generally held in disdain by Branch Floridians, who believe that it is invalidated by the “exception to every rule” clause of “reality.”  Dogma can get pretty messy, especially when your dogma gets run over by your karma.

Discordians (Hail Eris!) also recognize this fact, and in parody parade, not dogma, but “catma” as a sum of their “beliefs.”  Well, Branch Floridians have finally entered the arena to espouse, not dogma or catma, but...




            You can probably already guess what it is:


trust no one
deny everything
always keep your lighter handy

all things are subjective
there is an exception to every rule

think for yourself!


 write to Harriet: 


            And on that note, I’m outta here!


© 2001 (V,i)